KP goes back to TS in the NY

Thursday 1/13:  I have been avoiding Times Square for over a month now, for several reasons.  The crowds were probably a little worse, or at least a little more aggressive and ornery around the holidays.  I was certainly crankier and less equipped to remain calm and appreciate things during the last couple weeks of December.  Also, taking the B train cuts a little time off my commute, an important feature when getting out of bed at all is a feat requiring great strength.

But this morning, perhaps by fate or the intervention of the universe, I looked up to realize that I was at Nevins Street, having missed my chance to transfer to the super speedy B train.  So I stayed on the 3.  And I was rewarded, welcomed back by one of my least favorite places in the world, with offers of many things to learn.  The shoving and selfishness and getting in the way of people getting off the train was in full effect.  I joined in, passive aggressively running into a guy who was in my way.  But coming up the stairs, I could hear the Ebony Hillbillies playing.  Starting the work day with live music is really pretty amazing.  The sun was shining brightly over the trees of Bryant Park, all the way down 42nd street.  It is bright enough to feel warm, but not so bright that it hurts my eyes – it’s different, less aggressive than the afternoon sun.  And while the manic flashing lights and traffic are there in the morning, Times Square manages to feel like it is still a little sleepy too, that it needs to move a little more slowly and gently.  The slush made the blue-painted pavement look like the surface of a lake.  The streets and sidewalks felt strong and grounded and ready to accept all the people and movement that would inevitably come their way today.  That’s something to remember tonight – that even if the people and lights are moving and crazy, the ground is still and solid. 

What amazes me is that I learned all this and was even given some joy by a place I really truly can’t stand.  I trade relative comfort and a little time for the stronger experiences of anger, outrage, astonishment, joy, and surprise.  It was a real lesson that when we make efficiency the greatest good, so many other things are lost on the way. 

In a stroke of amazing timing, I was wondering this morning whether I wanted to keep writing this little project, or whether it was no longer valid.  Simply by going from thinking about plans to moving, the answer came to me, I didn’t have to look for it.